Against Hermogenes

"Thus with matter excluded because the cause for it[s introduction] has been excluded, it remains that God undoubtedly made all things out of nothing.We shall see whether He also made evil things, when it will be clear what things are evil and whether those things are evil which for the present you regard as such. For it is more worthy of God that He produced these things of His own will by producing them too out of nothing than that He did so on the initiative of another, supposing that He produced them out of matter. Liberty, not necessity, is appropriate to God. I would rather have it that He wanted to create evil things out of Himself than that He was unable to prevent their creation."
--"Ancient Christian Writers: The Treatise Against Hermogenes" Tertullian p48

Ignatius (Epistle to the Romans)

I write to the Churches, and impress on them all, that I shall willingly die for God, unless ye hinder me. I beseech of you not to show an unseasonable good-will towards me. Suffer me to become food for the wild beasts, through whose instrumentality it will be granted me to attain to God. I am the wheat of God, and let me be ground by the teeth of the wild beasts, that I may be found the pure bread of Christ. Rather entice the wild beasts, that they may become my tomb, and may leave nothing of my body; so that when I have fallen asleep [in death], I may be no trouble to any one. Then shall I truly be a disciple of Christ, when the world shall not see so much as my body. Entreat Christ for me, that by these instruments22 I may be found a sacrifice [to God]. I do not, as Peter and Paul, issue commandments unto you. They were apostles; I am but a condemned man: they were free,23 while I am, even until now, a servant. But when I suffer, I shall be the freedman of Jesus, and shall rise again emancipated in Him. And now, being a prisoner, I learn not to desire anything worldly or vain.

From Syria even unto Rome I fight with beasts,24 both by land and sea, both by night and day, being bound to ten leopards, I mean a band of soldiers, who, even when they receive benefits,25 show themselves all the worse. But I am the more instructed by their injuries [to act as a disciple of Christ]; “yet am I not thereby justified.” (1Co_4:4) May I enjoy the wild beasts that are prepared for me; and I pray they may be found eager to rush upon me, which also I will entice to devour me speedily, and not deal with me as with some, whom, out of fear, they have not touched. But if they be unwilling to assail me, I will compel them to do so. Pardon me [in this]: I know what is for my benefit. Now I begin to be a disciple. And let no one, of things visible or invisible, envy26 me that I should attain to Jesus Christ. Let fire and the cross; let the crowds of wild beasts; let tearings,27 breakings, and dislocations of bones; let cutting off of members; let shatterings of the whole body; and let all the dreadful28 torments of the devil come upon me: only let me attain to Jesus Christ.

--Ignatius (Epistle to the Romans ch. IV-V)

The Powers of Gourd, Supervacuity, Cucumber and Melon!

"There exists a certain royal Pre-principle, pre-unintelligible, pre-insubstantial and pre-prerotund, which I call Gourd. With this Gourd there coexists a Power which I call Supervacuity. This Gourd and this Supervacuity, being one, emitted without emitting a Fruit visible in all its parts, edible and sweet, which language calls Cucumber. With this Cucumber there is a Power of the same substance, which I call Melon. These Powers, Gourd and Supervacuity and Cucumber and Melon, emitted the whole multitude of Valentinus' delirious Melons."
--a parody by Irenaeus against the Valentinians ^_^