"These proceedings have been ironic, perplexing, unnerving, inspiring, and restorative.
how ironic that the guy I liked ended up liking my best friend
how perplexing his lack of communication, his cloak which inhibited my ability to read him
how unnerving that he never outwardly gave me a chance, that I questioned if he even was interested in being my friend
how inspiring that I learned that I'm good enough and that I don't need a guy - that this isn't the greatest desire of my heart
how restorative that I am nearer to the music than I've ever been before, that I have new confidence, which if used for the Lord's glory will brighten my unique reflection of Him"

- From a good friend's journal June 6th (yes we read the other's journals from time to time).

"Natural science, in its widest sense, aims at setting forth a coherent system of knowledge of how Nature works. The scientist is concerned not with the 'how we know' but with the 'what we know' of the objective world. He assumes from the outset that it is 'real', that it exists apart from the individual knower, is con...sistently measurable, and is a realm of law" (The Wings Of Faith p44-45).

Susanna

A story about John and Charles Wesley’s mother caught my eye while I was reading “Streams Of Living Water” by Richard Foster as part of an assignment for school. I want to know what you all think about what she did and why you think what you do.

“When Samuel was away in London on church matters for an extended period one time, his assistant did a poor job of nurturing the congregation. Consequently, Susanna decided to have Sunday evening services at home for the family, in order to bring some added spiritual influence. They gathered in the kitchen to sing psalms, pray, and read a short sermon selected from Mr. Wesley’s library shelves. Soon friends and neighbors asked to join in, and before anyone knew it, two hundred souls were crowded into Susanna’s home.

Mr. Inman, the church assistant, was insulted and scandalized, mainly because the Sunday night gatherings were outdrawing Sunday mornings. He contacted Samuel Wesley in London and protested these irregular worship services. Mr. Wesley, in turn, wrote his wife, asking her to desist. Her response was a masterful balance of deference and defiance.

Susanna began by responding to his three major objections to the meetings: these were ‘first, that it will look particular; secondly, my sex; and lastly, your being at present in a public station and character.’ She took up each objection with the most deference providing an extended and definitive answer. She then concluded, ‘If you do after all think it fit to dissolve this assembly, do not tell me any more that you desire me to do it, for that will not satisfy my conscience; but send me your positive command in such full and express terms as may absolve me from all guilt and punishment for neglecting this opportunity of doing good to souls, when you and I shall appear before the great and awful tribunal of our Lord Jesus Christ’” (244).

The meetings continued unabated.



Life Together

"The serious Christian, set down for the first time in Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.

By sheer grace, God will not permit us to live even for a brief period is a dream world. He does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream. God is not a God of the emotions but the God of truth. Only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community the better for both. A community which cannot bear and cannot survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community. Sooner or later it will collapse. Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.

God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dreams binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself."

--Dietrich Bonhoeffer Life Together p26-28

Our Problem of Evil

"At the outset, let us remember that every world-view--not just Christianity's--must give an explanation for an answer for evil and suffering. Either evil categorically proves that God does not exist, as the atheist avows, or evil is 'not ultimately real evil,' as the pantheist claims, or evil is most coherently explained by the Christian view of God and His purpose for creation. In short, this is not a problem distinctive to Christianity. It will not do for the challenger just to raise the question. This problem of evil is one to which we all must offer an answer, regardless of the belief system to which we subscribe."
--Ravi Zacharias Jesus Among Other Gods p108

Metamorphosis

"Alas, she was unable to break the silence of my melancholy. That I loved her--nothing is more certain--and thus my melancholy got plenty to feed upon, and it got, in addition, a dreadful perquisite. The fact that I became an author is due essentially to her, my melancholy and my money. Now by God's help I shall become myself, I believe now that Christ will help me to triumph over my melancholy, and then I will become a priest."
--Kierkegaard's Metamorphosis

Love Bears the Impress of Eternity

"...In spite of the fact that this love is essentially based upon the sensuous, it is ennobled by reason of the consciousness of eternity which it embodies; for what distinguishes all love from lust is the fact that it bears an impress of eternity." ---Kierkegaard in Either/Or

Blessing

Celebrant: All our problems

People: We send to the cross of Christ.

Celebrant: All our difficulties

People: We send to the cross of Christ.

Celebrant: All the devil’s works

People: We send to the cross of Christ.

Celebrant: All our hopes

People: We set on the risen Christ.

Celebrant: Christ the Son of Righteousness shine upon you and scatter the darkness from before your path; and the blessing of God Almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, be among you, and remain with you always.

Blessing

All our problems
We send to the cross of Christ.
All our difficulties
We send to the cross of Christ.
All the devil's works
We send to the cross of Christ.
All our hopes
We set on the risen Christ.
Christ the Son of Righteousness shine upon you and scatter the darkness from before your path; and the blessing of God Almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, be among you, and remain with you always.

There Is A Fountain (Part 4)

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed church of God
Be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more,
Be saved, to sin no more.
Till all the ransomed church of God
Be saved, to sin no more.

Healer Of Our Every Ill

Healer of our every ill,
Light of each tomorrow,
Give us peace beyond our fear
And hope beyond our sorrow.

You who know our fears and sadness,
Grace us with your peace and gladness.
Spirit of all comfort, fill our hearts.

In the pain and joy beholding,
How your grace is still unfolding.
Give us all your vision, God of love.

Give us strength to love each other,
Every sister, every brother.
Spirit of all kindness, be our guide.

You who know each thought and feeling,
Teach us all your way of healing.
Spirit of compassion, fill each heart.

http://www.selflessdefense.com/

Groaning for Redemption Part 1

8. O God, regard my bitter cry,
I groan to be redeem'd from my sin;
To Thee I lift my weeping eye,
Open Thine arms and take me in;
To Thee my labouring soul I bow;
Require it, O require it now.

9.I know it is not now renew'd
I am not fit Thy face to see,
But trust the virtue of Thy blood
In my last hour shall work on me
Some miracle of grace unknown,
Without a miracle undone.

--Wesley

Hymn on Mark 2:19-20

3.No abstinence severe
Can be, while Christ is here:
High on eagles' wings we soar,
Safe in heavenly places dwell;
War and strife we reckon o'er,
Suffering is impossible.

4.But sooner or late we moan
Our joyous Bridegroom gone,
Miss that sensible delight,
Extasy of infant grace,
Lose the Beatific Sight,
See no more his heavenly face.

5. His face unless he hide,
We never can be tried:
Wherefore not in wrath but love
Jesus partially withdraws,
Leaves his own, our faith to prove,
Leaves us bleeding on his cross.

--Wesley

Ezekiel 18:2-4 (New International Version)
2 "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: " 'The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'?
3 "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. 4 For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son—both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.
---
Jeremiah 17:10 (New International Version)
10 "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."
---
Jeremiah 31:27-30 (New International Version)
27 "The days are coming," declares the LORD, "when I will plant the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the offspring of men and of animals. 28 Just as I watched over them to uproot and tear down, and to overthrow, destroy and bring disaster, so I will watch over them to build and to plant," declares the LORD. 29 "In those days people will no longer say,'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge.'
30 Instead, everyone will die for his own sin; whoever eats sour grapes—his own teeth will be set on edge.
---

Collective criminal responsibility vs the individual being responsible for his or her own sin.

"If I have already been forgiven and therefore connected to a God whose Spirit pours life into me, then you pose no threat to my existence. You can reject me, hurt me, and make my life pretty miserable, but you cannot destroy me. Therefore I don't need to be so afraid of you that my fear controls how I treat you.

I don't need to keep up my guard. I can actually accept you as God for Christ's sake has already accepted me. When you offend me, I can nourish the spirit of forgiveness within me because it's there. I may have to look hard for it, but it's there. I've been forgiven, and I've been given the urge to forgive, the same urge that led to my being forgiven. I can pour into you the life that has been poured into me."

--Connecting by Larry Crabb (pages 46-47)

"When two people connect, when their beings intersect as closely as two bodies during intercourse, something is poured out of one and into the other that has the power to heal the soul of its deepest wounds and restore it to health. The one who receives experiences the joy of being healed. The one who gives knows the even greater joy of being used to heal. Something good is in the heart of each of God's children that is more powerful than everything bad. It's there, waiting to be released, to work its magic. But it rarely happens."

--Connecting by Larry Crabb pxi

My Faith Looks Up To Thee

My faith looks up to Thee,
Thou Lamb of Calvary, Savior divine!
Now hear me while I pray, take all my guilt away,
O let me from this day be wholly Thine!
May Thy rich grace impart
Strength to my fainting heart, my zeal inspire!
As Thou hast died for me, O may my love to Thee,
Pure warm, and changeless be, a living fire!
While life’s dark maze I tread,
And griefs around me spread, be Thou my Guide;
Bid darkness turn to day, wipe sorrow’s tears away,
Nor let me ever stray from Thee aside.
When ends life’s transient dream,
When death’s cold sullen stream over me roll;
Blest Savior, then in love, fear and distrust remove;
O bear me safe above, a ransomed soul!

Don't Look Back

Every morning as I look into the mirror
Yesterday's mistakes are so painfully clear
I could let them take me under, be a source of misery
Or I could understand the power of the blood that's shed for me

Often I'm reminded that there's nothing we can do
That would take away the sacrifice for me and you
So when you feel the guilt of the enemy's attack
Just know you've been forgiven and don't look back

Don't look back - Yesterday is over, today is a brand new day
Don't look back - It's not the answer, no it's not the way

You can't go forward when you keep looking back
How can you think about the future
When you're haunted by the past?
God don't want you to live like that
Put your hand to the plow and don't look back

I know the straight and narrow is the path that I should see
Yet I'm often tempted by the way it used to be
Seems like only good times keep flashing through my brain
But then I stop and I remember the cost, all the pain

Don't look back - Those old temptations were never good for you
Don't look back - There's nothing there that can help you get through

Why do we dig up the old man
When there's so much ahead?
Why can't we do what Jesus said
And let the dead bury the dead?

--?

Holy God, We Praise Thy Name

Ho-ly God, we praise Thy Name;
Lord of all, we bow be-fore Thee!
All on earth Thy scep-ter claim,
All in heav-en a-bove a-dore Thee;
In-fin-ite Thy vast do-main,
Ev-er-last-ing is Thy reign.

Hark! the loud ce-les-tial hymn
An-gel choirs a-bove are rais-ing,
Cher-u-bim and ser-a-phim,
In un-ceas-ing chor-us prais-ing;
Fill the heav-ens with sweet ac-cord:
Ho-ly, ho-ly, ho-ly, Lord.

Lo! the a-pos-tol-ic train
Join the sa-cred Name to hal-low;
Pro-phets swell the loud re-frain,
And the white-robed mar-tyrs fol-low;
And from morn to set of sun,
Through the Church the song goes on.

Ho-ly Fa-ther, Ho-ly Son,
Ho-ly Spir-it, Three we name Thee;
While in es-sence on-ly One,
Un-di-vid-ed God we claim Thee;
And a-dor-ing bend the knee,
While we own the mys-ter-y.

--The Covenant Hymnal: A Worship #19

"That is why he and his kind are employed," Nathan said bitterly. "To protect their overlords from such unpleasant tasks. Now the landlord can wring from us his moneys and care not for the misery he evokes, for indeed it would be difficult for any man to see another starve and his wife and children as well; or to enjoy the profits born of such travail."

--Nectar In A Sieve p72

"He seemed very wide awake. I stretched myself out beside him, close to him in the darkness, and as we touched he turned abruptly towards me. Words died away, the listening air was very still, the black night waited. In the straining darkness I felt his body moving with desire, his hands on me were trembling, and I felt my senses opening like a flower to his urgency. I closed my eyes and waited, waited in the darkness while my being filled with a wild ecstatic fluttering, waited for him to come to me."

--Nector In A Sieve p57